Don't grow up too fast

Left pic was taken when he's just 5 days old versus his 2-month-old pic on the right. 

Just a span of a few days but you can really see the difference. I was just so shocked how he suddenly grows taller. 

Haaaaaysstt...... So this is what they say that babies grow up so fast. 😔

I've been with him all the time, like literally 24/7, and yet I still get shocked by these changes.

Kinda getting scared of how he grows up reaaaally fast. 

Just way too fast!

.

.

So let's cuddle more, baby Claude. I'll stay with you, carry you in my arms, and sing you lullabies as much as I can...

...coz I don't wanna miss anything.

I'm afraid to miss anything.

Dearest baby Claude

Until now, there still are these moments that I couldn't believe you are mine,

That of all the millions of women in the world, you chose me to be your Mama.

I am just so lucky that at the end of every day's chaos and tiredness and stresses, I get to have quiet moments like this to just stare at you while you are sleeping...

And realize over and over again how lucky I am to have you as my baby. I will always be amazed by you, my little man.

So, goodnight baby love,

Sleep well, knowing you are in my arms - safe and sound.

Always ❤

Dearest husband bibikooooii

 September 29, 2021

Dearest Bibikooooii,

Hi bikooooii! Don’t be surprised or get confused about this letter. Wala ra koy lingaw, hehehe.

I was browsing sa fb page nga akong na join-nan about dream houses of random people. You know I always get ‘suya’ when it comes to things like that because you know how much I wanted to have our own dream house, how much we both wanted it. We both wanted to have it this year unta before our wedding come September 2021, since we have acquired the lot last year.

But you know, life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan. God has better plans that He gave us our greatest blessing – baby claude. Of course, it’s a life-changing surprise that we will forever be thankful for!

And so everything planned was instantly changed. We had our wedding earlier this year, May 2021. It was our dream wedding – intimate and magical. We both know we really worked hard and saved for it (thanks to our small business) because we don’t wanna bother our families with the expenses. 

After the wedding, another thing we have to face is baby claude’s delivery. Again, we’re not used to asking financial help from both our families so we made sure we have enough savings for it, after spending for our wedding. So, we are both faced with the realization that we couldn’t afford to build our dream house this year as well.

Also, COVID affected our small businesses so finances were tight. 

But we are still here, enduring and trusting God’s ways.

Bikoooii, I just wanna let you know that I am fully trusting God’s plans in our lives. I always pray to Him that He will give you all the desires of your heart because you truly deserve it.

There was a point in my life where everything’s just so wrong and that life’s always unfair to me and that things I prayed hard for were never given to me. Now, looking back, I realized and fully understood why those things were never given to me at that time. And everything just fell perfectly in their right places in God’s perfect time.

So I want you to do the same, bikoooii. To trust Him and his timing always.

And lastly, I just want to let you know that I will always be happy to be blessed with a blessing called YOU. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t wish for someone better because you are already the best. 

We both didn’t come from a rich family that’s why we couldn’t easily afford the things we really wanted for our little family now, but I know that we always work hard to achieve them. I am willing to face all life’s challenges as long as I have you.

Someday, all our dreams will come true bikooooii. 

Until then, let’s just enjoy the precious moments in the present.

…with our baby claude… <3

Love you always,

Gwapa nimung asawa, hahahaha!

Our little white dot

 

Feb. 26, 2021

 

Dearest little one,

So today’s the first day I saw you. Been seeing social media posts from other mommies posting this kind of picture but I never really cared. Until I finally had my own.

Few weeks ago, I’ve felt strange and weird feelings inside me. And I’m almost quite sure that you’re the one responsible for it. 😊

I’ve never felt anything like this before. Everything’s just so uncomfortable and weird and I always feel sick. Yes, it’s because of you. I’m just being honest here, ok? Don’t get mad (wink!).

But let me tell you about my 1^st doctor’s visit.

I’m quite certain that you’re already inside of me because I took a PT and it’s positive!!! But doctor seemed not convinced at first when she went over my records (she’s also my OB by the way when I had a checkup 3 years ago because of my PCOS). You see, little one, mama has these conditions that usually make it hard for women to have a baby. First, I have PCOS in both ovaries. Women with PCOS usually need OB’s help – months of treatment with a lot of meds to take – before they can successfully have a baby. I didn’t have any. Second, I have retroverted uterus which means quite a number of tricks should be done first before a successful conception. Also, mama’s already in my 30s which would make it harder to conceive, as other people would say. And I also have a low uterus (if that’s the right English medical term of it), which will require a lot of bed rest.

I have friends with these conditions and it took long for them to finally have a baby. Some don’t even have yet as of this moment.

But you, you just came and surprised mama and papa like that!

So you see, little one, you are such a warrior and a fighter and our very own tiny miracle.

And when doctor finally zoomed you in in that monitor and told me, “there’s your baby”, oh my God, little one, mama’s in tears!!! I was trying hard to hold it back because mama’s shy but you brought those happy tears. You were just that tiny little white dot over there (7 weeks) but you made mama cry – of happiness, of course!

And when I showed your picture to papa, he was also in tears. And I was in tears again, hahahaha! You should know you are that much loved, little warrior. And we are really really happy to have you.

Some of my closest friends know how afraid I am regarding my condition before. For the past years, people have always been telling me to get pregnant already because I’m not getting any younger and with these complications.

But mama just can’t do that easily.

She wants to be really ready for you – financially, most importantly. She and papa work hard to be really ready for you but deep inside, mama’s also VERY afraid that when she’s finally ready, you won’t come easily, or worse, you won’t come at all.

And she keeps that heartbreaking thought to herself, every single day, before.

You see, our little warrior, mama didn’t come from a well-do family. She experienced all the struggles of being poor at a young age. And even when studying, she had to do things on her own. One day, when you are old enough, mama’s gonna tell you her story. But as of now, these are the reasons she never wanted to rush things about marriage and having a baby. She wanted to have you and raise you and provide for you well. She wanted to make sure you are not going to experience what she had experienced. She wanted to be responsible.

For you.

I guess you know mama and papa are already ready. Besides, we have planned to do our wedding this year, anyways.

So thank you for coming at exactly the right time, our little miracle.

And for coming easily without making mama and papa wait too long. It’s as if you know that mama’s now really ready for you.

So that’s all for now, our little white dot.

I still have a lot of things to tell you so be sure to hang in there and be healthy, ok?

Mama and papa will do everything to keep you safe until it’s time to finally meet you.

We are so excited!

We love you …

 

Always,

Mama & Papa

#14 - 17 reasons why

 

He goes with all the crazy ideas I come up with.

This is probably the craziest decision I have ever made in my entire life – our Hongkong trip.

This was in 2019. I never had the chance to write about this crazy trip because I never had time, of course because of work. But now, I have all the time in the world to do so, after more than a year? Hahaha

So it was in April 2019 when we booked a Hongkong trip with friends through this local travel agency. We were supposedly scheduled to fly September of the same year. Unfortunately, about June that year, Hongkong protests broke out, if you remember that incident. It was all over the news. Everything was chaotic and unsafe in Hongkong and so flights and tours got cancelled. Two weeks before our scheduled trip, the travel agency informed us that we couldn’t push through and that we will just be refunded. The whole group got so disappointed because we were all very excited for it. And it’s supposedly gonna be our first time to fly out of the country.

I was really disappointed. My mind and body were all ready for that trip only to be cancelled days before. I really wanted to go especially to Disneyland. Jeff and I did.

Suddenly, a crazy idea just popped up in my head. What if we just go? No travel agency, no tour guides, just a spontaneous trip to the happiest place on Earth!

I told my friends about it but they were quite hesitant to do it – first, it’s gonna be more expensive and second, it’s gonna be really risky. So I got disappointed again.

But Jeff told me “kita rang duha ay! Anniversary trip nato!”

I laughed hard with that suggestion. That’s really a very crazy one (although this trip was supposedly our 3^rd anniversary trip in the 1^st place). Both of us haven’t tried travelling outside the country yet. I don’t think we can do it just the two of us. Maybe with friends, we can survive. But just the two of us? Nope, I don’t think so.

And Hongkong’s not really an English-speaking country.

And then there’s the immigration.

And I didn’t have any idea how it’s gonna be like in Hongkong.

And I’m afraid we will get lost. I never had any sense of direction that’s why I wanted to have tour guides.

And we don’t have hotel reservation. No itinerary. Not a single map of Hongkong.  No plan at all.

Nothing.

But guess what? We still decided to go – last minute. Hahahaha!

We bought our tickets at the airport the morning of our trip (oh diba!)

We flew to Manila 11:00am, September 24, and had a connecting flight to Hongkong at 6:00pm the same day. We arrived in Hongkong past 8:00 pm and started our long adventure of asking questions, reading signs, getting lost, riding trains and buses, getting amazed of octopus cards, kulba moments….etc… etc…

I love their super fast trains!

We survived airport hassles and immigration scares even if it’s our first time!

To make the long story short, we safely arrived in our hotel past 10:00pm already. It’s a loooooong story how we managed to find our hotel. I know God sent us angels to help us find our way.

Even if it’s so late already, we still went out to look for food coz we were so hungry but our faces were full of crazy grins of what we have crazily done. We just kept on saying that “at this time yesterday, we were in Sibulan and now here we are!” then we just laugh at ourselves. Well, that’s just us – the crazy us!

1^st day.

Our first target was Disneyland. It’s my childhood dream to be there and finally, I was able to fulfill it with my bibikoi. It was such a very magical experience. Whole day of walking and exploring Disneyland. It’s very tiring but I loved every minute of it. Words couldn’t describe the magic that Disneyland is. Someday, I’m gonna bring my kids there. We will definitely come back one day.

Second day was Ocean Park. Another very wonderful place but the ocean park rides were not for me. Too extreme and you know how “bayot” I am of extreme rides. Jeff had to go on his own and I just took pictures. Hahaha sorry bikoiii! But I loved all the underwater experience.

Third day was Ngong Ping Village. It was a 3.5-kilometer cable car ride to the great Buddha – 7 kilometers back and forth. Though the heights always scare me, I was extremely amazed travelling above Hongkong – through its seas and foggy mountains.

We also went to downtown Hongkong after, explored night markets for pasalubongs, bought hongkong milkteas, ate a lot of foodies and walked and walked forever. Every single day was exhausting but full of fun!

Surprisingly, we survived all the long rides of trains and buses from our hotel to our destinations. Jeff just downloaded some things from google, then he just read train station signs, kept asking questions even if most of the time no one wanted to answer us… and we survived! I was not really a help, hahahaha!

We were in Hongkong for 5 days. And survived!

We had so many funny moments in this trip. Most of the time it was tiring but our trip was full of laughing-at-ourselves moments. There were so many times we did stupid and embarrassing things being first-timers but we just tell ourselves, “wa na sila kaila nato!” and then laugh at each other.

Some people say that the best way to really know your partner is to go on a travel alone together and it will reveal behaviors that you haven’t known before. Just like in the movie “Kita kita” where Alesandra and Paolo ended up breaking up after their trip. Some people I know also attested to that “sigeng away” while and after they travelled together.

But Jeff and I didn’t experience that. That Hongkong trip was supposedly stressful because of our unpreparedness but all we had were laughter and funny moments. Every flaw in our trip was made a joke and was not used to make “away”.  At the end of each day in Hongkong, we talked about those funny moments and laugh at them – real hard laugh! After returning from our trip, all we felt was “feeling victorious” because we conquered something big – something really daring – TOGETHER. And the memories that we had in Hongkong were so precious and magical and one-of-a-kind that made me so proud of the both of us.

That trip just proved that no matter how difficult and confusing the big big world may be, as long as we have each other, we can conquer them all and laugh at it all!

As long as I have my superman with me, I’ll be just fine.

Until our next travel bibikooooii….

 

#13 - 17 reasons why

We built Chemistea together, hand in hand.

I know this post seems a bit late, like really late (July 2020 na), but I just have to do it because it’s quite significant. Because of this, I fell in love with him even more....

Anyways, 2019, I think it’s my most daring year, ever. First in the list, I finally did my ChemisTEA kick-off.

Being born from a not-business-minded family, I never really knew how to run a business and never had any idea about all the must-dos (let’s not forget the starting capital is also hard to raise). Plus, I’m a Chemist and Jeff’s an Engineer so we never had real business classes in college, hahaha! We invested money on something we didn’t have any idea about (using our own savings and bonuses) especially that it’s the first milk tea store in the city .

Being someone who’s not used to asking for help or bothering anyone else and being used to do things on my own, I just did things really slowly on this – taking it one baby step at a time. Cause I can’t afford to fail. I’m not rich, you know. I’m just glad and really blessed to have Jeff with me through all the struggles and kakapoy. He’s the best partner anyone could ever have! 

Starting a business from scratch is really challenging when there’s just the two of us and at the same time we’re both working. We have experienced a lot and learned a lot in starting ChemisTEA. It’s exciting but most of the time it’s really tiring and exhausting. It requires real hard work (a lot of it!) and determination (200% of it!!!) cause it’s what keeps you going.

Chemistea's humble beginning - June 2019

Milktea-lovers flooded our small store on our 1st month.

Anyways, this is how we started – a really small store with so many things still lacking but thank God business started good and keeps doing good. After a month, we were able to do some improvements using the store’s own money already. We never spent anything more from our own pocket. Thanks to the Tanjayanons for their warm welcome, for loving our chemistTEA, and for always coming back.

Big thanks to the first few who trusted chemisTEA.

Thank you, teachers!

After 3 months of operation, by God's grace, we were able to transfer to a bigger and more decent place than the first one (but not that big pa ha) and with a better location. We were also able to do some transformation and added other stuffs inside the store and also purchased additional needed equipment. In short, our investment grows.

Bigger place than the first one.

Proud to say that these heroes are our suki.

Our bubbly milktea-lovers.

We're glad to be part of their special celebrations.

Our bigger, more decent place.

We never expected how chemisTEA grew in just a couple of months operation. Thanks to the never-ending love of all Tanjayanons who keep on supporting our small business.

So when December came, as our way of saying THANK YOU, we spent our first-ever Christmas party with the kids in one of the barangays in Tanjay. It’s our simple way of giving back to the community that supported us. 

And we had so much fun on that day!

It's not just with the Chemistea staff but also with Jeff's and my family.

Simple gifts for the children.

Everyone had so much fun!

More games, more prizes, and more fun!!!

It wasn’t an all-smile smooth 1-year journey, though. Challenges came but the hardest one so far was when we encountered a problem with our business name that we had to change it because of some trademark issues. Didn’t have any idea about that. It’s not our fault, though. It’s Dti’s. That explains why we had to change from ChemisTea to ChemistTEA (it’s not even solved yet). But I think it’s smoothen out already and we were able to pull through. But I know sooner we really have to change the original name. But we’ll deal with that later.

365 days later...

Last June 2020 we just celebrated our first anniversary and we were so overwhelmed by all the milktea lovers who came and celebrated with us.

Our DIY balloon arrangement. Efforts by the whole team.

More pics of our suki

Right outside our store. Milktea-lovers patiently waiting to order.

Milktea for the whole barkada.

Our little store is crowded.

Our hearts are full. Jeff and I never expected ChemistTEA to grow this way and to be loved this way. Thanks to Jeff’s family in helping us run the store smoothly in their city and also to our ever-understanding and helpful staff. We couldn’t have done it without all of them. This is our success! We are just blessed beyond measure and all our struggles and efforts have paid off.

The people behind Chemistea's success!

Thank you, God for all the blessings, the guidance, and the strength.

Thank you for ChemistTEA. We survived our first year.

It’s always You, Lord, I know. ❤❤❤


P.S. And this is the reason behind the #13. Through all the daring and tiring and stressful decisions I make in life, I have this super supportive and super patient boyfriend. They say when a couple is exposed to difficult and challenging times, true colors will be revealed, misunderstandings will drive them apart, and most of the time breakups happen. But this isn't true with us. What was revealed during this experience is how patient and understanding this man is. Through all the tiring and exhausting days, I've seen  such an amazing man. 

Truly, my partner and bestfriend in everything!

I love you bikoooooii!❤❤❤

Hi backstreet, westlife, Bitney songs. Look what you made me do!

Songs on my playlist these past few days were backstreet boys, spice girls, atomic kitten, westlife, M2M, and other singers in the 90s. They’re gonna be my forever faves. No doubt about that and I don’t care what you millennials say about that.

You see these songs just bring back so many good memories of my childhood days – memories so surreal that make you long to be back in those times again. When you were just an innocent child, enjoying carefree days. No worries of anything or anyone or any circumstances to hurt you or frighten you. Playing out in the streets with childhood friends until night time. Under the heat of the sun or dancing in the rain. Scary storytelling during full moons. Watching falling stars at night. Making balay-balays sa kasagingan. And so many more.

So many many more…

I remember so many good and precious memories to the point that remembering them hurts. It hurts because you live now in a time so different from that one. A time when days weren’t so carefree anymore. So many things to be done - unending responsibilities, challenging times, confusing situations, hard decisions, so many things that scare you, unending fear of tomorrow, everyday worries. You see, it’s exhausting living in this kind of time with such a worry mind. That every time I get a chance to take a glimpse of my childhood days - just FEEL that carefree feeling once again – I’d feel sad. Sad to have the realization that I could never go back to those times again. Never.

And I know that I am not the only one.

I know that you are, too. And I’m sorry for all our longing hearts.

And I’m just gonna end this here – no “cheer up” words or “hey, it’s OK” lines. Because a Westlife song is currently playing and my emotions cannot be held back.

#abouttocry #hormonestakingover

All about my 2018

Hey there, 2018!

So I heard you’re over. I can’t seem to let go of you just yet. I don’t know. Lately I’ve been really not myself – not my usual self with so much energy and excitement and plans and adventures.

Maybe I should blame the “REAL” adulting stage for it. It’s when you’re past the early adulting stage.

Anyways, I just can’t let you go without thanking you for being the best year so far. Well, 2017 has been a really special year. It’s when an innermost dream came true, something that I have always been dreaming of ever since that I thought it would be so impossible for me to reach. It was given to me just like that. Maybe it was already the best time for it. So that made the wait so worthwhile.

But 2018 has been my defining year. A year where I have accomplished things that only brave people can achieve. I’ve gotten things that need risky decisions and I took the risk no matter what. This year I have done things that not a lot of people my age could ever dare to do. Not even my younger self would dare to do.

Looking back, I can never really imagine the things I have achieved – small things for some, but totally great things for me. Cause I know myself. I know my fears and insecurities. And yet here I am now, conquering them all within just one year.

I am so proud of the person that I have become although I didn’t grow up a privileged one. Whatever I have accomplished now, I can proudly say I did them all because I strived tirelessly and fearlessly for them and of course, with God’s everlasting guidance.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why 2018 has been the best year thus far.

Let’s do more great things in 2019! Happy New Year!

Finally got myself a DCCCO ID. For savings purposes.

Although I passed the boards in 2017, it's in 2018 that I finally got a hold of my much-awaited PRC license.

I never thought that I could have my own car this year. Of course, with the help of my bibikoooii.

And being able to drive and pass the LTO test drive? My driver's license.

Finally, our passport. To Hongkong next year! Hopefully.

And of course, my investment. A food business. Although I haven't officially opened my snack bar yet, but I already have the foodcart and the equipment and all the materials. Hope 2019 will be a lucky year for my business. Thank you Lord for everything!

Another not-a-17-reasons-why post

It’s our 2^nd anniversary!

So our 730 days of being together went by so fast. Well, we’ve been exclusively dating a few months before September 2016 pa. So technically we were more than 730 days together already (ok, unnecessary explanation spotted!).

Since Sept. 17, 2018 is a Monday (a working day), we decided to let the anniversary trip wait til weekend. So today we just decided to go back to where it all started.

Tierra Alta, Sept. 17, 2016

I have a post about that magical night of September 17, 2016 when I finally and officially became his girlfriend. It’s the “cause the moon told me so” post. Until now I still believe that it’s undeniably the most magical night of my life – that unexpectedly, everything just unfolded wonderfully for that night to be really special for the both of us.

I can still vividly remember the memories of that night two years ago. I had a bouquet of yellow roses with me. It was a normal Saturday and, just the romantic guy as he always is, he gave me flowers because he just wanted to. No occasions or whatsoever. We dined in Tierra’s resto and just ordered pasta because we ate snacks before we went there.

Fast forward to Sept. 17, 2018

So we dined in Tierra’s resto again, just like what we did two years ago. I think we seated exactly in the same spot. I also had a bouquet from him today. We didn’t’ order pasta this time. We opted for a heavy meal cause we’re both starving from work.

After eating, we ordered san mig flavored beer (our favorite! We also had san mig flavored beer two years ago) and decided to go for a quick walk around the resort. The last time, a wedding was ongoing that made the night so lively and colorful because of the wedding lights. But tonight, the place is so quiet and peaceful – perfect for reminiscing the special night two years ago.

Tonight was just as perfect.

When we left Tierra Alta, we went for a sing-a-long somewhere. This is one thing I love about being with him – we can do and enjoy things together bisag kami rang duha. We had so much fun aiming for a 100 score. So that’s why we went home late. It took sooooo many tries before he got a perfect score, hahahahaha!

Well that ended our night. I wouldn’t want it celebrated any other way. My heart’s filled with so much love and appreciation for the man that I have now, for the man who has overflowing love and patience and understanding and care for me. I’ve never been happier. It seems like everything’s so perfect that I couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for more.

Looking forward for the weekend!

To my forever favorite buddy, thank you for the beautiful 2 years. With you, I've never felt unloved or unappreciated even just for a second. Every single moment, you make me feel loved...soooo much loved. And I love you as much, bibikoooii!😘😘😘

#12 - 17 reasons why

He checks on me on his rear-view mirror

Most of the time we ride on his motorcycle and it's just funny how he constantly angles his side mirror so that he can see me - so that I can see him too.

Our workplace to my house is a one-hour drive and during that time, that's what he usually does - checking on me and telling me I'm beautiful. Sometimes he just steals glances on his rear-view mirror and sometimes I catch him doing so.

He's such a sip-sip, whatever you call it, but he makes me feel beautiful and special and kilig. Not all men do that, by the way.

He's such a one-of-a-kind!