funny and ironic and unbelievable

It's funny and ironic and unbelievable. It's sad and depressing and heartbreaking. Yet it's happening and it's real and it's better.

Trying now to stay away from the people you thought you can't live without before. Creating now a gap between you and the people you've been so close with before. Giving up now the people you've been fighting so hard for before. Leaving now the people who were the very reason for your coming back. Hating now the things you used to love doing with them before... Changing now a lot of things because of a sad realization.

It's now indeed funny and ironic and unbelievable!

now I know why

Now I understand why. Finally, I truly understand "why" and "how", though I didn't really know "what" and I never truly know "when". All I know is it's happening, it's existing, it's growing, sometimes it's fading, but most of the time it's staying... But now I know why. Now I truly know why. And now it's time to stop blaming my innocent heart. Now I truly understand her... why....how... she has reasons. Valid. Enough.

But decisions were wrong.

Sorry dear heart...

sigh! :(

Sometimes, the people you learned to value and trust so much will hurt you. They will do things you never ever imagined they could actually do to you, and all you're left to do is feel so disappointed...and so very disappointed... and sad because you know you don't wanna give them up but you have to... coz u know by now, they're not the ones worth keeping at all. And you've been blind all along... ;(

that other part

There will come a time in your life when you will become so stupid. That no matter how wise and intelligent you have always been, you will find yourself so dumb, so wrong, so unprepared. So caught offguard. So careless. There will come a time when you will become a fool, and you'll curse and laugh at yourself for being such a fool...
There will come a time when you will become your own enemy, your own hater, your own nightmare...and you can hardly believe it when you find yourself actually fighting with yourself..
There will come a time... and that time will never fail to come. And when it finally comes, just let it. Welcome it. Embrace it. Who knows, you might love the lesson it brings.....

which, im sure, you'll do....

real world, it is!

I never thought being in the “real” world could be this real hard… Doing things you ought to do, yet secretly wishing you could still do the things you really wanted to do, be with the people you wanna be with and just be the person you used to be.

I never thought being in the “real” world could be this real confusing. Not real sure of the way life chose you to head to, yet dying to just stop for a while and choose to stop heading always to something…sometimes.

But I never thought that being in the “real world could also be this real exciting and real fulfilling and real fun and something I never ever wanna exchange with anything else in the world. This is the real life that taught me, teaches me and will still teach me so many more lessons I’ll be welcoming with open arms.

So, hey there real world, come on up, let’s get going!

I'm okay

I was given so much of it. Given too much of it. Too much for me to handle, I thought…

I wasn’t prepared, I thought.

I’m weak. Alone.

I cried, I questioned, I doubted, I hated, I gave up, I disbelieved. But I pulled through. Been strong all along, never thought I could be… And now everything’s okay. Though some things are unclear and unsure, I’m okay. I’m happy. I’m home.

missing someone named "myself"

I miss the morning dews, the sparkling mists, the summer air, the mysterious sunset...

"She's lost."

I miss the sleepy moon, the dazzling stars, the ever-beautiful nightsky, the never-ending lonely night,

"...in the middle of nowhere"

I miss the breaking dawn, the cold morning breeze, the enchanting sunrise, the heavenly chirping, the brand new day

"...can't seem to find her way back"

I miss her. When she's poetic. When she's inspired. When she's the sweetest of the sweetests. When she's dreamy. When she's laughing and flying and dancing in the clouds.

I miss her. When she does what she loves. When she rides with her imagination. When she only believes the magicals. When the reality doesn't matter. When the spells and pixie dusts and abrakadabras vanish her worries away. When wishing wells are everywhere..

I miss her when she's dreaming that way again...

jung arteha pose! :D